I'm home sick today, having caught a very persistent flu bug and I'm in the midst of being laid low by the congested, "heavy headed" feeling that I've come to recognise with alarm.

That's how I came about to being sentenced to doing time on my couch today, despite it being a lovely Sunday here in Singapore. Other than this blog, I took the opportunity to start on a book called "Healing Lazarus", by Lewis Richmond, an entrepreneur and Zen Buddhist meditation teacher who recounts his personal experience with viral encephalitis that left him fighting for, and reflecting on the meaning of, life.

I borrowed this book from the library because I recently learned that a friend was diagnosed with cancer. As with similar occasions in the past, I was shocked and worse, I feel helpless. I do not know what to say or how to help her. And of course, on many levels I know there is really nothing I can do.

In order to gain some insight on this problem, I went to the National Library at Orchard to browse through the books on dealing with illness and disease. Being someone who is learning about Buddhism, I gravitated towards the Buddhist section as well and found Lewis Richmond's book.

Reading carefully through the book today, somewhere in the middle, some words of the author jumped out at me. It was about the importance of knowing that we do not have to go through such moments alone.

How true. I've always been someone who tries to go through all the difficult moments in life stoically, alone and without complaint. No, I'm not brave. Far from it. I've always been too scared to share my worse fears about death or being left helpless, unable to care for myself. My feelings have always been kept carefully wrapped up in the depths of my intellect-where most of it remains to this day. And somehow, my luck has always held and I've so far escaped and become well.

But I'm not sure how long my luck will hold out. In the depths of my mind, I know it cannot hold out forever.

This afternoon, I texted my friend to tell her that she is not alone. Oh, how I debated over my choice of words, and how inadequate they all seemed. Still, I sent her the message, and a few hours later, she cheerfully texted back to let me know she is well, and that she is looking forward to catching up. In fact, she hoped that I would get well soon.

What an amazing lady.

I guess one can never predict who one's teachers in life will be. Today, I feel incredibly humble in the face of such grace and strength.

Blogging for Beginners-Help!

OK, I read somewhere I had to go and list my Blog on Technorati, a search engine for blogs. I'm getting a tiny bit bewildered by all the information. At the moment, I'm at Technorati where I'm being encouraged to "claim" my blog, so here I am doing just that. I may well in way in over my head in this little experiment. At the young age of 33, I'm being made to feel a tad like a dinosaur!



Technorati Profile